Data MonstersA field guide

The bestiary · The Silo Gargoyle

The Silo Gargoyle avatar

Specimen · catalogued monster

The Silo Gargoyle

Guards your data, shares none of it

0Data teams haunted

16 of 21On the leaderboard

This stony sentinel squats atop each legacy database, glowering at anyone who dares request a record. It hoards data like treasure, grumbling that safety demands secrecy, while the rest of the estate waits politely in the rain.

Symptoms

  • Extract requests wait a week for a reply
  • Customer IDs disagree between neighbouring systems
  • Integration projects quietly become archaeological digs
  • Spreadsheets multiply as unofficial copies of the truth
  • Only one person knows where the data lives

Weakness

Shine a lantern on the whole estate with a shared catalogue, then build well-governed connectors or a data product layer so the gargoyle can guard the gate without blocking the road. Start with the three datasets everyone begs for.

Overheard in the corridor

  • “I'll need to raise a ticket with the database team.”
  • “Which customer ID are you using? Ours is different.”
  • “That system is ours, and we do not share.”
  • “Can someone email me that extract again, please?”