Specimen · catalogued monster

The Agenda Puppeteer

Pulls every string toward personal glory

A smiling schemer who treats every data initiative as a stage for their own advancement. It tugs at budgets, priorities and reporting lines, always whispering that it has the organisation's best interests at heart.

Symptoms

• Project priorities shift whenever one sponsor's standing changes
• Data requests arrive with hidden motives attached
• Credit is claimed early, blame is passed along
• Shared definitions are quietly vetoed in private meetings
• Decisions made in corridors undo those made in meetings

Overheard in the corridor

• “Let's take that offline and keep it between us”
• “I just need this one report to look better”
• “Can we not mention that in the steering group?”
• “I've had a word with the right people already”